My 3 yr old daughter took this pic of me

Monday, March 4, 2013


Disappointment has kind of been a theme in our lives this last week.

Finding out that we have to fight for our little girl or we could lose her.

Finding out that we can't get legal aid and will have to pay for our own lawyer.

Finding out that in order to get an attachment assessment, we'll have to foot the bill for that, too. (We'd spend all the money in the world on her if we had it, but we don't).

Watching the saddest documentary of a failed international adoption and realizing the sad but real reasons behind it.

Wishing I could control everything and save all these damaged and hurting children and knowing that I can't.

Watching people throw their money away on useless stuff when so many are suffering and could be helped. (Not saying we never do this, but this week it has especially been bothering me).

Missing my workout and blogging for a whole week.

Vowing to do better by my kids and limit their tv/electronics and then turning around and letting them watch it on and off all day.

Regretting my tone or way of handling a situation.

Disappointment is tough. I've always particularly struggled with handling it well. I'm learning to let myself grieve and that it's ok. I don't have to justify it or explain it away. If I grieve, I can move on, let go. It happened. I can't change what has already happened, but I am not crippled by it. I can make a new decision right now. I can succeed right now. I am not defeated just because of a single failure or ten single failures (haha). I am not defeated just because I have run into an obstacle. Strength is manifested through endurance. God is my strength. I am looking forward to the beauty that this week has for me and I am ready to face it head on with an optimistic and positive confidence.

How do you handle the disappointments in your life? 


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